Well, hello again!👋🏽
I'm hoping this will be the last post before I launch the new site! So...
Where. do. I. begin?...
I guess I can start with a card I pulled a couple of days ago. Even before that, I decided to title this post Bravery due to the theme of the last design. I haven't shown that one yet, but interestingly I pulled an affirmation card that stated "I am brave" in addition to the following message:
It is time to move on from the old patterns, habits and fears. Now is the time to walk in the direction of your biggest desires and ambitions. Now is the time to be bold and brave.
If I could sum up this past week, I think the words above would come close to capturing the themes I've been working through. In my last post, I talked about learning some life lessons. I naively thought I was done for some time because I thought those lessons were pretty hard.😅 I thought life would give me a break, haha. I thought wrong.
I'm not the only one practicing bravery. Here's ☝🏽 my youngest nephew Jaden! He decided to push himself out of his comfort zone and help me out! Oh, I love my nephews so much! They really inspire me! 😭
If I'm being honest, I still feel a bit disoriented from this past week. But, it turns out dancing has been really, really helpful and necessary for me in these moments. I didn't know that I would need to move my body right after just having some breakthroughs. So, now I've decided after each session of therapy, I will book space at a studio to dance.🥰
A part of me feels like this is the part of the process where things are going to feel like they're getting worse before they get better. But, I am prepared and I am ready. 💪🏽🤗
By the way, I'm reminded of a quote from a book that I read quite some time ago. Yet, this quote has so often been recited I'm sure you've heard it before. It's from Toni Cade Bambara's The Salt Eaters, which is the following:
"Are you sure, sweetheart, that you want to be well?… Just so’s you’re sure, sweetheart, and ready to be healed, cause wholeness is no trifling matter. A lot of weight when you’re well."
I think I'm just beginning to understand that question.
Playing and Creating
Well, as you may already know even amid hard times...I can't help but still have a sense of playfulness. I'm realizing that art and just any form of creating and expression is really helping me navigate these new waters. Yes, art and play are saving me yet again. I tell myself, "When in doubt, create art. When in pain, create art. When in joy, create art." At least for me, I cannot live without some form of art...and play.
Asking for friends' addresses in the least creepy way I know how.
Some other things that are working for me now are continuing to be in nature and in community. I mentioned this before, but I'm expressing gratitude and appreciation in some form or another to many people I've met throughout my life that have gotten me through some hard times possibly without them even knowing it. I'm figuring out different ways to communicate, such as via emails, mailing letters (see my above text 🤦🏽♀️), etc.
I even got these ☝🏽 awesome pop-up cards from the bookstore! I'm super excited to mail them!! I already felt warm just even asking for people's addresses, picking the cards, and deciding how I want to capture my love for folks in words. It made me feel like a kid again!
And speaking of feeling like a kid, I went to a local park. I was wrestling with some life questions, as usual, as I was going for my walk. Then, I found myself on a hill. I paused and looked down at the lake below. In that moment, I told myself, "I should totally roll down this hill. Why not? Who cares who's watching." So, I rolled down the hill like I used to as a kid. I literally could not stop laughing. Then, I sat up and saw this beautiful reflection of nature on the lake. I whispered to myself, “I’m going to be okay. Things are going to be okay.” 😌
I'm now editing the images I've taken. I still have to work with my other nephew with the other designs! I also have to finish my final film assignment. Eek! The pressure is on, haha! So, let's see if I can make my personal deadline. If not, be gentle with me, haha. Anywho, I'm wishing you well on your creative, artistic, healing, and really being-human journey! We got this! 💪🏽❤️😤
And yes, I can totally get much cheesier than that, haha!
See you soon!
-Sandy (and now Jaden☝🏽) from The Underground Galaxy ❤️
(you might meet the whole family after this 😹)